What helps to keep writing once you’ve started the practice and habit? In this episode I talk about some of the things that work, and have worked, for me to keep going with my writing practice. Things that have helped me to develop a momentum that I really enjoy now and miss if it’s not there. 

Changing my idea of success was, perhaps, the major breakthrough for me. In fact, I realized that my approach to success was one of the biggest reasons that kept me from creating momentum and developing a regular practice or habit of writing. And that this approach had kept me from developing other routines I had wanted down through the years, for example, physical exercise.

When I started writing, I began with the goal of writing every day for a month. I tried this for a few months and didn’t have much success. There were weeks when I only managed to write on a few days. Some weeks I only managed one day. And rarely did I hit my target. Things happen, it’s the nature of life. Back then I didn’t have a momentum of any kind. I was trying to develop one. So, misses were frequent.

There were times I even forgot I had the goal of writing every day. Then, a couple of weeks later, I’d remember and start again. But it was usually with a tinge of failure. I’d look back at the month, and look at all the times I hadn’t managed to do my writing practice. And it was disheartening, to be honest. Even if I did manage to write nearly every day for an entire month, I’d only feel that I was doing what I’d set out to do in the first place.
And if the next month had more misses in it, I’d end up feeling I’d failed again. And the fact is that I still don’t usually manage to write every day in a month. I do manage to write most days now. But there’s always something in every month that means I miss a day or two. 

This approach wasn’t going well. And it was going to end the way my attempts to create a habit or routine in other areas had ended – not well. It meant I was going to end up with a feeling of failure most of the time with rare moments of success. So, I took my own advice and wrote about the way I was thinking about it - to see what was there and to see if I couldn’t get to a better way. And, as always, I got to better thinking by writing out and following my thoughts.  

I realized I was looking at success the wrong way round. And not just a little, but completely - 180 degrees - the wrong way round. I was focusing on what I didn’t do and not at all on what I’d accomplished. Think about it. If I write even one day out of a month, something has been done instead of nothing. Something new is in the world that wouldn’t have been there otherwise. If I write one day a month - that is 100% better than not writing at all. Writing twice in a month is 100% better than that. I’ve actually done something, made an effort, I’m moving in the right direction.

So, I got to a completely different attitude about success. What I do now is to focus on and to celebrate what I did and do. This attitude has helped me to keep going and to get into a rhythm, a practice, that I look forward to and don’t want to miss. Now, when I miss a day, I miss my practice and look forward to getting back to it, to being successful.

Another thing that helps me with maintaining my writing habit is being willing to start each and every day from where I am. This was especially useful for me at the beginning when I found it difficult to do. It can be hard to see, and even harder to accept, where you’re starting from. It was for me. I was full of all sorts of notions about myself - about writing - about myself writing. And I had to work through them, to be willing to work through them.

We’ve had so many influences drilled in to us about who and what and why, we should be. And, we’re exposed to more every day. And we’ve fed all that with our own thinking over time as well. On top of that we’ve also these received attitudes about what writing should be. A powerful attitude I’ve had to deal with often – that I think is fairly common - is the one telling me that what I write has to meet a certain standard. I no longer remember precisely what this standard is, or even where it came from. Nor does it matter. The point is that it creates the feeling and thought that my writing has to meet someone else’s standard to be good enough, that the way I write is not acceptable, not good enough

What helps me deal with this attitude when it crops up is, first, to simply expose it, and remember it’s that old familiar bogey – judgement. Then I remind myself that I’ve dealt with it successfully many times in the past - this is a reaction I’ve learned and that I can unlearn. It’s much less powerful now. I know how to throw light on it. But occasionally it’ll raise its head and try its luck in getting some attention from me.

These kinds of things keep cropping up and will keep cropping up as long as I’m breathing, taking action, being alive. If I take an action, a reaction of some kind is going to appear. If it’s a life-enhancing action then the reaction is going to be something from the opposite side. I find it useful to keep remembering that. So, remember, you have to start from where you are. And, more importantly - where you are - and where you’re starting from - is perfect. All beginnings are sacred.

Another thing that helps me is remembering that my sweetest memories are often of when I’m doing the things that I enjoy most, that give my life its savor and satisfaction. Things like spending time with friends or family, having a conversation, being with my wife, hiking a trail. The simple act of doing these things is part of the good life for me. And my writing practice is part of that for me now. These are all things I do for their own sakes, with no expectations. Expectation leads inevitably and inexorably to disappointment, as the saying goes. 

Something else I find useful is to remember the way I naturally respond when my children, or any children, share their attempts at writing with me or ask me for help with writing something. Or if your nieces, nephews, or grandchildren produce something they want to share with you. We don’t compare their efforts to the works of others or to some standard we heard about somewhere. No! We’re always positive and encouraging if they’ve put in any effort at all. We think of what they’re doing in terms of themselves and are appropriately amazed. We appreciate it because we appreciate them. This is the attitude I try to bring to my writing practice as well.

Another useful thing for me is keeping a record of my writing practice. Now, I know, vividly, that this is something that doesn’t appeal to many people. One time, early in our marriage, I had, what I thought was a great idea to streamline our weekly grocery shopping process. We were doing pretty much the same thing every week, or so I thought. So, I created a spreadsheet with all our grocery shopping items on it. We could, I thought, use the list to tick the items we needed each week before we left and not have to figure it out each time. This did not go down as well as I’d expected, as I’m sure many of you have realized. It didn’t go down well at all in fact. My wife was appalled at the approach. She didn’t want shopping to be fulfilling a process, especially a repetitive process, or feel like part of her life was being treated like that. I learned a good lesson that day!

However, if you are one of those people, like me, who do like to keep track of things, this is what I do to track my writing practice. I divide my practice into time segments, I usually track two weeks at a time for a year. So, I’ve 26 tabs on a spreadsheet. Each tab has 14 rows – one for each day of the period. The columns are the Date, Yes, No, and Reason. Then I block off the days I’ve decided to take a break on. If I miss a day’s practice, I write the reason for the miss beside the No for that day. At the end of each period I look back, celebrate what I’ve done, and know when and why I missed. But only do this if you’re of a similar bent and find it useful. 

Remember that things are going to happen that would never have happened if you hadn’t started to write.
Things that will never happen if you don’t start to write. How amazing a thought is that? Every time I write a sentence, something is there that wasn’t there before, something that may lead to something or somewhere else that wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t written that sentence.

Words are important to us because meaning is important for us. Writing things down has a significance that simple expression does not. The act of writing something gives it a potential, a resonance, a “something” it doesn’t have when it’s simply spoken or thought or felt or texted or tweeted. In this process you find out what writing is about and what potential writing has for you. And you can start anywhere. Any of us can do this, at any time. That’s one of the wonderful things about writing. When I started writing again, I met myself in ways I never had before, ways I never imagined about myself. And this still happens on a regular basis, which is kind of thrilling to me actually.

You need courage, sometimes, to keep going, to uncover what the words might end up showing you. It helps me to remind myself that writing is an adventure I never knew was available to me. It’s an adventure - in language, in ideas, in discovery - into myself. I try to bring a spirit of kindness and compassion, and to celebrate and enjoy to my writing practice. 

Remembering why I started writing in the first place always helps to ground me to get going. I didn’t start writing by accident. I didn’t wake up one day and realize I was writing. I decided to start writing, and continue writing because of the value it gives me, which has been way beyond my expectations. For sure I waver and sometimes miss my goal. But I always come back, get up again.

The process of writing isn’t difficult, there’s no mystery to it. You just pick up a pen or press on a key and start writing down words. But writing that first word can definitely be a challenge. However, the results are always astonishing.

So that’s my call to action. Let’s start. And keep starting. Let’s astonish ourselves.